When I set out to really “find myself”, I was 25 years old. I had just moved back home -- for the second time in my life -- and at this point, I was living with my father because my parents were officially divorced. I was working a job that “paid the bills”, and alcohol was my best friend. 

Needless to say, I WAS MISERABLE. Comparison was the thief of my joy, and along with booze, depression and anxiety rounded out my “circle of friends”. I knew I needed to find help, and naturally, I turned to therapy. After all, even at this messed up stage, I wanted to be a therapist.

I ended up seeing two different therapists. I appreciated their time, but I needed something different. I needed solution-focused action -- like YESTERDAY! So, I decided to take matters into my own hands and began my journey. It was ugly. VERY UGLY. 

The first thing I did was open my Bible. I found a verse that spoke to me, and I held on to it tightly, speaking it as my mantra daily. The next step involved looking in the mirror and saying daily positive affirmations out loud. THIS WAS TORTUOUS FOR ME. 

It was very hard to look at the person staring back at me. I was disappointed in her, and I did not love her one bit. But I did it. 

Every day, I looked into the mirror and said three things I liked about myself. If I’m being honest, yes, there were days where I just turned around and walked away. I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I had no clue who I was, but I was determined to find out. I was hell-bent on finding myself.

So, I went back to the basics. One Saturday, I made myself sit on my couch, with no distractions, and one simple (albeit incredibly difficult) goal: To figure out what I enjoyed doing other than drinking. No kidding, it took me ALL DAY. But I figured it out!

You see, at some point in my school years I took the yearbook class. I enjoyed it because I loved photography! 

I decided it was time to take some pictures. So, the very next day, I went and bought a ridiculously expensive camera (with money I didn’t have…but that’s a different story for another day). 

So, what happened? I started taking pictures of the world around me -- flowers, sunsets, birds, and most of all, people. 

Most importantly, I once again began to see the beauty in all things around me. It was like my mind opened up, and the wall around my heart started to crumble. As an added bonus, since photography was occupying my time and my hands, the time I used to waste drinking began to fade. 

Taking pictures was not just a hobby, though; it saved me. It got me out of my head and allowed me to look at life through a different lens (literally and figuratively). That was the start of my journey to finding myself -- and what a transformative beginning it was.

How about you? Are you on a journey to find yourself? If so, how’s it going? How did it start?